Scientists ruin everything....

So some wiseass scientists at the University of Leicester decided to do a test to see if 'Beer Goggles' is a viable excuse for going 'Whale Hunting' and your friends conducting a 'fat dance' (you know the one where you stick your arms out as wide as possible, puff out your cheeks and and slowly rock back from one foot to another) until the novelty wears off...Apparently alcohol also doesn't affect our ability to judge a woman's age or, according to this study, how hot they are, as the test subjects were given pictures before and after getting drunk and rated the girls less attractive after downing a few...So all those times you've found yourself saying "I thought she was 18" and (while wasted) "I think you're beautiful..." are lies and you knew the whole time....pervert

Blame it on the Grim...it's your only hope to end the lifetime fat dance chirp

I personally find this report devastating, like Jamie Foxx, I could always blame it on the liquor when I woke up next to girl and had to offer her bus money to leave, you know before the roommates woke up...but now I realize I knew the whole time so I will take this time to apologize to the following ladies:

Monique, Kim, Kathy, Geraldine, Svetlana, Angelika, Shaniqua, Kim, Glenn, Lisa, Whitney, Kathryn, Kiera, Lana, Sherry, Leslie, Tina, Sheryl, Monica, Allison, Megan, Shelia...it turns out I knew what you looked/felt like all along and I apologize for being so shocked/terrified/disgusted when I woke up and should've never ran away crying/threw up/told you I was gay/told you I was a woman/kissed that guy to prove I was gay/said I thought you were a prostitute/told you I was blind the next morning pretending I was too drunk to know what occured the evening before...

No Jamie...it seems you can't