nonRAL - 4 fast 4 furious breaks records

They say that in times of recession people flock to movie theaters and rely on senseless drivel to distract them from the problems they are experiencing in their real lives. Well this must be the worst recession of all time as the new Fast & Furious (which would've won an Oscar if it was named 4 fast 4 furious ad featured a midget driver) movie made $72.5 mil over the weekend...It's official I've lost all faith in mankind, a movie about street racing, something that peaked in popularity 10 years ago, and starring Vin Diesel (though they say that when he jumps into a pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets Vin instead) made what most countries and the auto industry are losing on a daily basis...what's even worse is that this means that the whole fucking cast is going to be back for a 5 fast 5 furious and Vin will probably get acing jobs again, why wouldn't you just let his career die people? Why?

Yeah it's got a Hemi...

And it broke records too, and not just in the 8 seconds or less being free category either:

- Best April opening ever, beating "Anger Management's" $42.2 million. (April is apparently not a great month for movie releases)

- Best Universal Pictures opening ever (three-day), beating "The Lost World: Jurassic Park's" $72.1 million.(Universal apparently doesn't make any movies about pirates, green ogres, high school musicals or Spiderman/Batman)

- Best F&F franchise opening ever, beating "2 Fast 2 Furious'" $50.5 million. (Now they know how to title a movie!)

- Best opening yet in 2009, easily beating the bows of the more-buzzed-about "Monsters vs. Aliens" ($59.3 million) and "Watchmen" ($55.2 million). (I haven't seen either of these movies, I spend my free time getting laid by supermodels in Milan, but I can say with certainty that for those 8 seconds or less they are more free then this garbage)

If you saw this movie over the weekend and you weren't wasted with the intention of ripping it apart the whole time, then you are nonRAL and I hope you crashed your '04 Civic with the giant spoiler, Lambo doors, limo tint, NOS sticker and tiny little screech noise muffler on the way home while trying to take some guy next to you, who had no idea what as going on, off the line...