Priests add theft to laundry list of criminal offences

Priests have a shitty life, they can’t have sex, they have to wear cloaks and their lives revolve around some guy who hangs out on a ‘t’, Jebus or something…anyway these two priests were tired of living their modest lifestyles and decided to embezzle 8 Mil out of the church.

“John Skehan and Francis Guinan were accused in 2006 of skimming money from collection plates and bequests at their church in Delray Beach, Florida, and spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on real estate, travel, rare coins (What? Why?) and girlfriends.”

Take, thy Father, into thy mouth son

Seems to me that these guys had it figured out; they had very low living expenses and no real need for excess, but decided they could get it so fuck it why not? And they also figured out that they were 64 and 79 respectively upon arrest and that copious amount of money and lavish goods and vacations are necessary at that age to pick up skanks. The one thing they didn’t know though is that unless you are trying to impress 12 year old boys, rare coins won’t get you anywhere…oh wait. At least in jail they will be the Alter boys for a change….