Michael Gerard Tyson (born June 30, 1966)
Michael Gerard "Mike" Tyson, also known as
Malik Abdul Aziz, is a retired
American boxer. He was the
undisputed heavyweight champion and remains the youngest man ever to win a world heavyweight title at just 19 years old. Throughout his career, Tyson became well-known for his controversial behavior both inside and outside the ring. Nicknamed "Kid Dynamite", "Iron Mike", and "The Baddest Man on the Planet", Tyson won his first 19 professional bouts by knockout, 12 in the first round. He unified the belts in the splintered heavyweight division in the late 1980s. Tyson was the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world for over five years, before losing to 42-to-1 underdog
James "Buster" Douglas in 1990. Iron Mike, depending on what figure you choose to believe, has earned anywhere from $300 million to $450 million in the boxing ring over the past 20 years. But according to disclosures made to the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in New York in 2004, Tyson was down to his last $5,553 as of December of that year. Over the course of two years, Tyson spent more than $300,000 on limo rides around the New York metropolitan area. That's outrageous in itself, but particularly when you consider this is a man who owns -or at least has owned -more than 100 luxury automobiles. The list of RAL expenditures goes on and on -$82,000 for assorted men's mink wraps, a $100,000 platinum bracelet with the inscription "heavyweight champ," a gold necklace with 80 carats worth of inset diamonds for $175K. And in perhaps the most insane expenditure publicly disclosed, Tyson once paid a guy who went by the moniker "Crocodile" a few hundred grand to jump up at his press conferences and shout, "Guerrilla warfare!", how else can you say fucking RAL!? While he is best known as the youngest Heavyweight Champion of his sport, many don't know that Mike Tyson has had some very wise and eloquent things to say, and that is why we are dedicating so much space to quotes of the KO Kid, "Iron"... Mike Tyson:
On Lennox Lewis: "Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."
On Razor Ruddock: "You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."
On Tyrell: "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! Motherf**ker you're fittin' to die!"
"He was screaming like my wife."
"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."
On His Wife: "I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."
"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."
On His Childhood: "One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."
On Boxing: "I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain."
"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead... my power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
On America"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime."
Miscellaneous: "He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."
"I just want to conquer people and their souls."
and last but not least...
"I will fuck you 'til you love me faggot!"
So here's to the Lions going 0-16 next year as well, then they'll realize what they really need to change, their team colors and name...then nothing will be stopping them from a Superbowl in 2011
