Even the titties come up hard in Detroit...

Detroit is the RALest city on the planet, no one there is employed, it's the per capita murder capital of North America and one of the world's fattest cities...it's so RAL in fact that even women’s breastesses can deflect bullets...

OK fine, Germany keeps it RAL (to a lesser extent) as well

"The woman, who lives on the West side of Detroit, saw a group of men breaking into a neighbor’s house on Tuesday morning. When the men spotted her, one of them fired a shot at her...The bullet struck the underwire on the woman's bra and that saved her from a more serious injury, police said."


I've never worn a bra or anything like that, ok one time, so I have to wonder what is the underwire made of? Lead? Recycled GM cars? No wonder breasts can lead to back problems...I was always under the opinion that the girls I was feeling up were just in really great shape and I never fully understood the bag of sand reference in 40 year old virgin, but now it appears they have been duping me for years (since age 4 so 19 to be exact) stuffing their bras with materials that can stop bullets...liars....and I like how the instant reaction to seeing someone witness you performing a robbery is to open fire on them, way to turn a larceny charge into attempted murder...

Detroit Lions have figured it out...

The Detroit Lions shocked the world with their futility last year, becoming the first team in the history of the NFL to go 0-16...yes you read that correctly they won 0% of their games and got blown out in most of them, so what did they do to combat last season and right the ship if you will? Sign a high profile free agent? Make a blockbuster trade to acquire some pieces to move forward? Nah...that would make sense, rather they changed their logo to make it look more fierce...because all Championship teams know that the logo is really the key to success, not all that on the field bullshit like talent and putting forth a strong effort every week...

So here's to the Lions going 0-16 next year as well, then they'll realize what they really need to change, their team colors and name...then nothing will be stopping them from a Superbowl in 2011

Eds Note: Here are a short list of teams that need to follow in the footsteps of these pioneers of success to get things back on track...

Detroit Red Wings - Tire logo? Are you kidding me, don't they know the Big 3 are going to fold? Those 4 cups in the past 12 years were a fluke, they need like a totally more badass tire with wider treds or some shit...then they'll go 12 for 12

New England Patriots - The mildly pissed off face of a 'Patriot'? What type of logo is that? The Patriot should be so fucking mad that anyone who looks at him shits himself, instantly...then maybe Tom Brady would've never gotten hit or Eli would've collapsed in fear opposed to breaking that sack and fucking up their perfect season.

Boston Red Sox - Two dangly little socks? How does that strike fear into the hearts of anyone? And 'Sox' is spelt 'Socks', illiteracy isn't acceptable in a college town that thinks so highly of themselves. They should have fucking knee high socks with beady eyes...then it's no-no's for each pitcher everynight...

San Antonio Spurs - Really a Spur? That's it? Why not have a bleeding horse from being spurred? Most NBA players don't know what a Spur is anyway, as there are no horses in Compton, so just show what a Spur does and then it's 5 Larry O'Briens in 5 years...