Really Catchy Song!

Our apologies for the annoying visuals that accompany:

Stand up if you hate Man U....

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SPORT/05/28/nigeria.death.united.barcelona/index.html

Some people, myself included, love sport. Their lives are consumed by it, watching it, talking about it, reading about it and every so often trying to have sex with it…anyway when you are that into something it hurts when your favorite team/player/set of busty cheerleaders lose and you no longer have anything to watch or believe in. Some people react differently in this scenario as even the strongest men in the world have been know to cry, Hulk Smash whichever object is closest to them, stop updating their blog for a month, or get filled with blood lust…

It seems a little over the top I know, but that’s exactly what this guy in Nigeria did after watching his beloved Manchester United lose to Barcelona yesterday for some soccer championship I’m sure none of our readers care about…

"He was displaying his anger at his team losing the match. The driver had passed the crowd then made a U-turn and ran into them,"

You're cheering for Man U. in the comfort of your own home?!?!? I WILL KILL YOU!

And he killed 4 people while doing so…most sites would label this guy a ruthless murderer, which he is, but they would also be overlooking the RALness of his actions. Driving into the crowd wasn’t a reaction, he drove past them, said to himself “Nah, fuck that no one cheers for the team they love in front of me, do they know who I am? I drive the minibus!?!?!” made the effort to turn around and of course drive into them.

If soccer fans are anything like the athletes that participate in the sport, all the guy had to do was drive by slowly and they all would’ve acted like they got hit by 10 buses anyway…would’ve saved him the anal pounding he’s about the receive in prison…unless that was his goal all along, then well done

“Guess who’s bizack, back on the block for you hoes, Face Mob, Mack Mittens and Hov…”

Truer words have never been spoken, as I stumbled upon two news stories that forced me out of retirement, and am “back on the block for you hoes”, whatever that means….

Stay tuned

Kronwall K.O.'s Havlat

5 Alabama police officers fired over [kick-ass RAL] beating (from James W.)

Click.

Minka in the Park!

We are shamelessly a pure smut blog now... one of our editors has gone down with the longest hangover this side of Koh Phangan and has left me and my sweaty palms with far too much time and power. I've effectively started to drain the site of any humor or originality in a twisted bid to quicken him in the fight against the bottle and to return to contribute once again... I leave you with a TV actress stretching in the park and listening to Flo Rida on her iPod (I can only presume). Thankfully for her hamstrings and your twisted mind, that position doesn't leave as much to the mind as most.

Miss Pink Panties keeps the crown

Donald Trump, the king of almost all, has proclaimed that the new queen of cotton is to keep her crown despite a post a few back where we broke the hideous and unappealing news of her shirtless, voluptuous, scandal...

Jessica Biel for obvious reasons

Rihanna one-ups Miss Cali!

If you don't live under a rock, you'd have heard by this time that someone has released nudie pics of Rihanna sans clothes, shoes, and um-brella-ella-ella-eh? eh? eh? Chris Brown has had more than a few fingers pointed at him and some are even claming they're fakes... what's your call? Click here for 'em (NSFW)

Little Miss Pink Panties err California

Causing controversy again, this time with pink panties and no bra to match instead of saying no gays allowed in the treefort that is America

We're almost back...

Thanks to those of you who keep coming to our site, amidst our technological difficulties and week long hangovers....we appreciate it and we will be posting more very soon....

Until then enjoy this clip of Scott Walker fucking up Aaron Ward's eye...

Kiefer keepsitral with black-tie HEADBUTT

I found this picture on a celebrity blog site and was going to shamelessly lift their picture and come up with a witty story about Kiefer keeping it realer than real but they did it to such a tea, tee, t? That I'm going to plagerize near the whole damn thing. "While attending a Met Gala after-party Monday night, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted a fashion designer in an alleged effort to defend Brooke Shield's honor. -- And also because whiskey's delicious. (Hahaha see? You can't top that for a funny little remark) TMZ reports: We're told witnesses say the alleged victim -- Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough -- allegedly knocked Brooke Shields over and Kiefer saw it happen. The witnesses say Kiefer went over to the man and told him to apologize to her. At that point they say McCollough pushed Kiefer and the actor responded with a headbutt. Complicating it for Kiefer -- he's on probation in L.A. for a DUI, and one of the terms is that he obey all laws (RAL). No word on whether L.A. prosecutors will pursue the matter. I love how Kiefer Sutherland plays the smart, resourceful Jack Bauer on TV, but in real life, I wouldn't trust him to guard the last donut at work. Unless I wanted all the sprinkles headbutted off, then maybe." (you see!? funny!)

P.S. (damn dehydration)

Hot Minka Kelly is reportedly dating this fruitcake if you thought you had a chance (yes her middle name is Minka):

Hot Filler

We at IKEEPSITRAL.com (or I.K.I.R. for short)- now at ikeepsitral.blogspot.com until we iron out some wrinkles, shut up- have hit a bit of a temporary low. Namely the NHL playoffs [and a short run by the hometeam Flames] have left us hungover and dry (in terms of ideas, and even literally- requiring a litre of pedialyte a day or more). Anyways, what does this mean for you? It means we surf other blogs (mostly girly celeb blogs) for hot pics of hot chicks and throw them on here, 'cause they takes less effort and need for rehydration. Anyways that's how these came about, we don't have our own paparazzi... yet. The following are a couple new photos of Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly doing boring stuff around L.A., better known for posing in some magazine in her 70's style gym socks (see below) some time ago, that made me completely reconsider gym strip. This hot piece is one-half product of an Aerosmith guitarist- no don't get excited not Joe Perry- that guy that no one except Steven Tyler remembers, Rick Dufay. Back to Minka, she's 28 and has a AAA rack of lamb so if you enjoy delights of the visual kind, dig in while we reload on electrolytes.

P.S. if you like this dame's proportions, she's a 34-24-33. How do we know that? Perhaps the ultimate in creeper sites (outside of Facebook)- www.chickipedia.com (please still visit this one).

U.S. Ammo a Hot Commodity

According to CNN, "...gun shops across the country are reporting a run on ammunition, a phenomenon apparently driven by fear that the Obama administration will increase taxes on bullets or enact new gun-control measures." Never mind threat of the commies, or Iranians, or North Koreans, American gun-toters are now worried about the black, er liberal President they elected and that he and his government may make some changes that would make the stockpiling of thousands of rounds of man and armor-piercing ammunition more than necessary.

Damn...you're purdy

I guess a positive side-effect is that foreign aggressors that would have thought twice about attacking the U.S. (or God-forbid invading them) before this phenomenon, would now think 3 times, or 4 or 5 even (see picture).

It's So Reeeeeal

... that it doesn't even attempt to make Sammy Sosa not sound like a new immigrant hawking a microwaveable taco, or someone with a severe speach impediment or mental handicap. Nonetheless, how many of you wanted to put away your 09 sports game and give this one a crack after seeing this gem of a trailer?

... cont'd (I guess?)

buy this.

Transformers 2!

So according to this trailer which I just watched on mute, there's a new movie (a sequel?) coming out about a hot, hot girl who gets changed in some kind of garden while some fellow she seems to know talk to a heap of metal in a shed? After I rewound to watch her slip her jacket off and into her white dress some 40 or 50 times I realized the producers of this film have also added a bunch of filler such as comet-like projectiles striking the earth and many robots having a king-of-the-ring ninja fight in a forest, such shameless attempts at gaining viewership! Back to the guts of the movie... we can only hope that the plot won't focus on these silly 'robot battles' for long and will be as thick and twisting as in the first movie. As such we hope it will show the aforementioned damsel pressing her hot body seductively onto a 2000 cc motorcycle, her sweet sweat sticking just so to the leather and a good length of her thigh and ass to show between the knee high leather boots and cut-off denim shorts, her dark hair falling in waves upon her sculpted shoulders... and it looks like there's hope.

New Look for May

Let us know what you think... and leave a rating!

Got some teeth....

Have you ever been going down on a girl and thought it was a little fishy, and thought there was no way it could get any worse? Well imagine if she had teeth, and by that I mean imagine that her vagina had teeth and could bite off your shvonson...That's exactly what the writers of this future academy award winner did...just take a look



So after seeing this trailer I have to ask, are all Gyno's this smooth, "I won't bite" I'm sure that's the kind of non sexual advance all women want to hear before they are penetrated by a latex glove...I know if I heard my doctor say that to me before I got a prostate exam I wouldn't sleep right for weeks and would sue for malpractice...lowlight of the trailer has to be the tagline "Every rose has it's thorns" for insinuating that a vagina is a rose and not the most powerful weapon of all time against men and Lynds Lohan...additionally this movie should be shown in sex ed classes to highlight the value of anal and introduces a whole new and sexual meaning of the phrase, I will punch your teeth out (with my dong)...imagine this broad rolling into the orthodontists office, requiring a set of uppers and lowers? It would make it far more interesting when one claimed they had something 'stuck in their braces'...