nonRAL Man of the Week: J. Mays

J. Mayer usually personifies unRAL; he is an undeniable talent don’t get me wrong, but it’s the way he croons love songs about running “through the halls of my high school" while constantly looking confused and like he’s going to cry. But it's his latest actions that warrant him nonRAL man of the week. Apparently updating his twitter (Ed's Note: This is the third time we have spoken about this thing and I still have no idea what it is, can someone fill me in? is it just a live Facebook status update? Either way I know I'd rather put a cigarette out on my testicles then become a user...) instead of spending time with one of the most beautiful women on the planet, were talking about Rachel Green here.

Kutch, your body is a wonderland

"There he was, telling her he didn't have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates. Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he'd update with some stupid line."

So J. Mayer is a man who’d rather let his 12 year old fans, Ashton Kutch and Charlie V., know that he’s watching LOST or then have sex with this…

Maybe he should write a song about docking and post a ‘tweet’ about it to lure Kutch away from Demi and they twitter each others assholes for years to come…

Don't you hate ties? Man I hate ties...

Apparently Kutcher has the Twitter, unknown is if he's got the cream to clear it up...

Ashton Kutcher is probably up there with the most NONRal celebs of all time, having started Punk'd, Beauty and the Geek and some show about people's inner beauty. But this weekend he took steps to redeem himself...at the expense of his much older and much RALer wife. (She was is Ghost, which has gotten about 100 rap shout outs over the years, "Ghost like Swayze", ipsco facsto RAL) Anyway Kutcher posted a "tweet" of this picture over the weekend.

Voyeur anyone?

Now I'm no relationship expert, as most of my relationships end when I give a girl I encounter the twitter (See what I did there?!? I'm good at what I do), but something tells me that posting a creep shot of your wife bent over followed by written posts that read "shhh..don't tell the Wifey" and "watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!" the surest way to get the 50 year old, I've had so much surgery no part of me is legal age sex, you've come to expect every night. Particularly when your wife's children fit the target demographic of this social networking deal, and you fall somewhere in between, it sets the stage for a very awkward Hogan family love affair...and by awkward I mean sexual

Doesn't Twitter Sounds like an STI? 'Yeah man I got that twitter, but the cream cleared that right up'

I don't really know what twitter is, but it seems like something reserved for 14-19 year old girls and shouldn’t be a priority for an NBA player to update at half time...Charlie Villanueva disagrees however, as he did just that during Sundays upset win over the Celtics, leaving a tweet (seriously? Who named this thing?) that read:

"In da locker room, snuck to post my twitt. We're playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up."

"ahh-drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

So not only is this grown man making sure that all his 12 year old fans know what he’s up to after he enters the tunnel at halftime, but he also confirmed he is black at the same time...also he doesn’t have eyebrows ( he has alopecia so he was already dealing with a short deck)