Meg Fox does her thing for GQ...

How Romantic

This one is for those lovebirds out there...just this past weekend two people in Saanich (sounds classy I know) up'd the bar for romance everywhere as they were caught having sex in a dumpster. I've often thought about it, but just never had the stones to actually go through with it and have sex on top of other peoples leftover food, diapers and used syringes. I guess I just haven't found Mrs. Right yet.

Her: Yeah I can see that your naked, can't we just do it in the alley instead?
Him: The alley, that's sick...people could see us

I am assuming there is a perfectly good reason that this couple went through and got freak nasty in the dumpster. The first and most logical reason is that they were vagrants rummaging through the dumpster for an after panhandle snack, and just thought 'Fuck it, let's have sex at the dinner table'...the second, the guy was in desperate need to get laid so he got a prostitute, realizing he didn't have any money for a hotel room, he came up with the next best thing...the third, the guy is married or lives with his girlfriend and couldn't bring the inebriated skank he just wheeled outside the SAAN store back to his place, so he told her 'he knew a place' and carried her into the dumpster...and lastly, and hopefully this is the actual reason, the girl was just insanely horny and really wanted to fuck Oscar the Grouch...

No "Jack" in this Box, just a hot, slutty Cameron

And so it’s happened Cameron Diaz has finally broken down and decided to do porn (!), I’m starting to regain my faith in humanity, after losing it a mere 48 hours ago (4 Fast 4 Furious)…Well at least I think it’s a porno, it’s called “The Box”, so it has to be right? Don’t say that it isn’t, I need this….

The sequel is to be filmed in Paris and the working title is Le Bin

“You are the experiment” isn’t the hottest porno tag line however, maybe she has some sort of different box that the average male isn’t familiar with and once inside it becomes an experiment as to how they react? That doesn’t really have me that excited either…maybe Cameron Diaz just should just stick to regular girl on girl porn and stay away from this weird fetish porn that she has seemed to venture into…I should be an agent, or a minotaur.

Entertainment Tonight as he tries to get Inside'er... Hey-oh!

Pat O’Brien is the guy you probably recognize from Entertainment Tonight, How’d they do that? And The Insider….or if you have external genitals you won’t recognize him at all. Anyway back in ’05 P. O’Brien Kept it RAL and drunk dialed a girl and left her some cursive laced messages that he deemed were ‘romantic’. I don’t know that I would consider excessive use of the word ‘Fuck’ romantic, I usually stick to the elaborate schemes featured in “Hitch” for my romance, like this one time I jumped in front of this girls car and then sued here for all she was worth and when she was broke and homeless wooed her with my newly found fortune….anyway O’Brien did and he lost his job as a result of these messages, for a little while, but then he got it back in a reduced co-anchor role, to which he responded by sending an email throughout his company insulting the woman who took his anchor position and getting fired for good. So for fucking up a good thing twice and not really caring, P. O’Brien keepsitral…

This pic is the link, yeah we're that good.

Thanks to R.Pinder for the link, not for the clap though

Swiss James Bond imposter sleeps with BMW heiress; cleans her out of £6.4 Million

this is the hand she was eating out of your honor

A Swiss man has been jailed for six years for keeping it too ral and defrauding Germany's richest woman out of millions of euros and attempting to blackmail her. Helg Sgarbi, dubbed the Swiss Gigolo by the media, sought to blackmail Germany's richest woman by claiming to possess a tape of her having sex with him in a hotel room. He described himself as a“Special Swiss representative in crisis zones” and has not said where the money he received is being kept or what happened to the alleged sex video but we're guessing there might have been a Dirty Sanchez involved. He was also described as a specialist in mergers and acquisitions in a glowing job reference from Credit Suisse, read out in court. He is said to have not spoken about the cases since his arrest "out of respect to the ladies concerned"- now that's a spy-posing gigolo who keeps it ral. Predictably, none of his victims were in court [because they would have melted and given him another 10 M Euros]. "The reclusive 46-year-old mother-of-three handed the money to him in a cardboard box in the basement of a Holiday Inn hotel in Munich. He later asked her to put a 290M euros in a trust fund for him, which he said would enable them to start a new life together, but she refused to do so. Mrs Klatten said he then threatened to make public a tape he had secretly made of them having sex in a Munich hotel room if he did not receive another 49M euros, a figure he later reduced to 14M. Klatten was one of a string of Sgarbi's alleged victims across Europe, who included the wealthy Countess Verena du Pasquier-Geubels, reported to be around 50 years his senior." Nailing countesses 50 years older? Did we mention Helg keeps it ral?

A RAL look at "He's just not that into you..."

Top 11 signs “He’s just not that into you”

1. Money is exchanged or offered at any point during an evening.

If at any point prior to going back to a guy’s house he offers you cash, he thinks you are a hooker and expects you to leave in the morning and to never see you again. Additionally if he offers you money after sex to leave his house, either for a taxi or in lower end form the bus, then sorry sweetheart he’s just not that into you.


2. You look anything like this.




3. He only calls you sweetie, hoe, sweetheart or any variation of those words.

He can’t remember your name, ipso fact so he’s just not that into you.

4. He spends countless hours looking in the mirror. Even during sex.

It’s not that he isn’t into you, he’s just far more into himself, to the extent that it’s creepy....very creepy.

5. He comes up with disturbing nicknames that would cause a piece of you to die if you found out what they meant, how they originated and that they were directed towards you.

Ie: Grenade Face, SSW, Cum Dumpster...etc.

6. He looks anything like this.





7. He wakes up, turns over sees you there, and his response is “ah...fuck me” or “uggh” or any similar reaction of regret or disgust.

This one is self explanatory.

8. He at any point during the evening slams whatever he is drinking, looks your direction turns to his friend and emphatically says “NO!” implying that he still isn’t drunk enough to take you home even after pounding what could very well have been a quad gin ton or shot of GRIM.*

He needs epic inebriation levels just to consider sleeping with you. So. not. into. you.

9. You send him 12,000 texts, post no less than 400 times on his wall and call him constantly, to which he responds with one text back.

You are putting the time and effort in; he is not and therefore is not that into you.

10. He openly mocks you to your face about things that no man should mock a woman to her face about...

May it be your intelligence, what you are wearing or even your weight; if he was into you he’d have the decency to at least do it behind your back.

11. Last but not least...he turns down sex with you at any time without being on his death bed, having a broken penis, or maybe having herpes

No man does this when it’s a lay-up unless you look like the woman in number 2, or he’s just not into you.....Or subsequently he’s an actual nice guy and cares about your feelings even if he’s not into you, but that doesn’t occur often.

*GRIM - is a drink that is consists of taking a litre of rum and a 2-6 of Gin in each hand and chugging them simultaneously for 15-20 seconds. RAL