5 Alabama police officers fired over [kick-ass RAL] beating (from James W.)

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I got my hash pipe...

Having watched Blow last weekend, I think I know a thing or two about drug trafficking, namely that it's rather easy and can be somewhat of a fun game testing just how many condoms full of coke one can shove into their anus...but there are still people out there who manage to screw it up, like these two guys in Spain who got pinched for mailing Hash to the wrong address...

We should check the box for hash...and sign for the delivery as well

Now I'm no Pablo Escobar, but if I'm mailing something important I check the address at least twice and if I'm mailing drugs I'd probably check three times...it seems that the package also included "wine, sausages and cakes in addition to the hashish, police said in a statement." so obviously it was meant as the after dinner entertainment for whoever they were sending it to and because it was 21 ounces I am also going to assume that it was a fucking great dinner party

Couple multitask to perfection…get driving ban as a result

Have you ever been driving with your significant other, or some prosi you just picked up after minutes of negotiation for you ugly people out there, and thought ‘This driving gig is fun and all, but it would be that much better if I was having sex right now’? Well this couple was thinking that as well and chose to act on that thought...while going 30 kms over the speed limit…RAL

It seems that they only got caught because the car “…was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say (Having rough sex for those who don’t follow)"

Are those two having sex? We should get closer to watch...I mean...oh I don't care I'm so alone

And figured it was veering only because "He couldn't see much because her back was in the way” If this guy pulled anal while driving, he deserves an award…


"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know." I have an educated guess, because sex feels good, speeding feels even better and breaking the law is such a fucking rush it makes me want to put a lit cigarette out on my thigh, so combine all of those factors and we should be asking why more people aren’t doing this all the time…


And finally it was noted that “After following the couple for nearly a kilometer, officers pulled the car over at a service station.” Who is this guy Ron Jeremy? A km while traveling at 133km/hr, that’s about 2.2 km per minute, so he was having sex for 30 seconds…I feel sorry for the woman, she must have been sore…

I usually cry after I have to use a fake one too...

So this fucking loser might be up for nonRAL man of all time. He is a liquor store shoplifter, turned liquor store holdup gunman, turned six year old girl….Apparently he went into a liquor store and tried to lift a bottle of Hennessy, got caught and got held in by the store owner who locked the magnetic door. Then buddy gets RAL and pulls a piece on the shop owner, although a RAL man would’ve done that in the first place and gone for the cash opposed to the $60 bottle of cognac…anyway the owner realized it wasn’t a real gun and basically told the guy to fuck off by not unlocking the door (RAL) and buddy went into a corner and started to cry.

“Police said the suspect threw away the gun, slumped to the floor and was crying when officers arrived to arrest him.”

Artists depiction of crying fag who doesn't own a real gun

This guy is such a piece of shit, who brings a gun to a liquor store without the intention of holding the place up? And after you pull out a gun you’d better sell it hard that it is a real gun, by waving it around and saying that you’re going to kill the guy…and finally after you get caught in the lie and the owner realizes the gun isn’t real you’d better beat his ass or do something to try an get away, you already doing some sort of time for fake holding the place up, might as well do everything in your power to get away…but instead this guy cried…making him the nonRAL man of the week and early candidate for nonRAL man of the year.

RAL Ticket Payment

Is there anyone one earth who receives a ticket from the fuzz and immediately thinks of ways to pay it in the most asshole form possible? I know I do (along with wishing the death of everyone associated with giving me that fucking ticket...who cares about the transit fare you fake cop). Anyways a Washington man feels the same anger I do, and decided to do something about it. He went to the bank and got 20 600 pennies ($206 USD for you math geniuses out there), put them in a zip lock bag and pissed into it. He then proceeded to send the payment it, complete with some urine still in the bag. The authorities did not accept the payment, but for doing what I've always wanted to do...this guy kept it ral.

Link: http://www.autoblog.com/2009/03/26/streaming-mad-206-in-urine-soaked-coins-is-not-acceptable-paym/